Overcoming Anxiety

It’s hard to let go of all the “shoulds” in your life.

I SHOULD be further along in life.

I SHOULD act a certain way to impress people.

I SHOULD know what I want to do with my life.

I SHOULD have this type of job.

I SHOULD make higher grades than my classmates.

I SHOULD… I SHOULD… I SHOULD….

And holding on to them is not without consequence.

When you don’t live up to a certain standard, you hate yourself for not being “good enough.” This probably all started at an early age for you. Unfortunately, you probably believed it, and, over the years, it has become an embedded belief.

These “shoulds” can be so overwhelming that you develop anxiety. They result in your being so afraid to “fail” at anything that you’re hindered from taking any actual risk. This limits your potential and possibilities for your life.

Plus, when you care SO MUCH about what others think of you, you’ll lose yourself along the way. You’ll lose touch with whom you really are and what you stand for.

Anxiety is debilitating in so many ways.

It can even take a physical toll, raising your heart rate, increasing muscle tension, and making you sweat, tremble, or feel weak and tired.

I once had a client who thought like this…

“I’m never going to get married.”
“I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life.”
“This is the best that life offers me at the moment, so I might as well settle.”
“I’m never good enough for anything.”
“I’m such a loser for not being able to speak up about how I have been hurt in the past.”
“I could never face the person who hurt me.”

When I asked her what she says back to those thoughts, she looked at me and said…

“I say nothing. That side of me is right. I AM all those things.”

… to which I replied, “No wonder you have anxiety!!! Let’s see how we can deal with this side of you because I don’t believe this is all of you. I believe a side of you CAN speak up – a side that DOES have a voice. But we’ll need to find her because she’s been tucked away for a long time.”

She smiled, and we proceeded with looking into the part of her that could combat those negative thoughts while embracing the pain that came with them. This caused her to be more self-supportive when those negative thoughts infiltrated her mind.

Through therapy, we could deal with the abuse she endured as a child, the abortions she had to go through, and the lack of self-confidence she had in herself.

Anxiety can indicate something you haven’t dealt with…

But we’ll deal with it in therapy.

What’s unfinished in your life that is causing you anxiety?

What are the thoughts that are giving you worry?

What are the concerns in your life that make you stay up all night?

I can help you bring awareness to what’s missing in your life that keeps you from being more self-supportive when anxiety sets in. We may do experiments to help you explore the voices and negative thoughts that give you anxiety. I will give you tools to combat, embrace, and face those voices and expectations that are causing your anxiety.

We will look at other aspects of your personality that you have lost along the way to help you cope and deal with anxiety and pain.

We will break down the “shoulds” in your life so you can live more freely – without generational expectations.

Therapy isn’t always for the faint of heart. It can be uncomfortable dealing with hurtful or scary situations, but growth happens when we are out of our comfort zone.

You can do this, and I’m here for you.

Through it all, I’ll try to make therapy fun, exciting, and inspiring. It’s fun to see clients grow before my eyes, and it’s exciting when they begin to realize what the new possibilities can be. It’s inspiring when they find their authentic voice and speak up for themselves.

It’s time for you to learn about and combat your anxiety, so you can make different choices and open up new possibilities for your life.

It would be an honor to join in your journey.

Don’t put this off. Call today and let’s schedule your free 15- to 20-minute consultation: (804) 310-7516.